A college friend was in town to attend a rescheduled holiday gathering. Each year, my close group of St. Mary's College friends gets together for a night of food, drink, laughter, and gift-giving. What used to be a night out to dinner has turned into a full-on ladies' slumber party, complete with kitchen-dance parties and very little sleep.
"I'm heading out to the store. Do you need anything?"
"Thanks, yes! I could use some crackers."
"What kind?" I asked.
Robin looked down, wrinkled her nose a bit, and considered her response.
I drew in a breath.
"It's just...," Robin replied, "it's just, I miss-"
"Stone Wheat Thins!" I finished.
What transpired next was a 10-minute eulogy to the demise of Red Oval Farms Stoned Wheat Thins, a cracker that was a staple in my life since sometime around 1982. Of all the crackers out there, this cracker was like no other. It was delicious, whether it was served with a slice of cheese or on the side of a bowl of chili.
I was introduced to this very important cracker at the same time I first met my friend Juli. Up to that point, the only crackers I knew were Premium or Ritz.
The Stoned Wheat Thins and I had a good run. I munched on them through my twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties. And then, sometime in my early sixties, they were gone. I spent most of the COVID years on a low-carb diet known as "Lazy Keto." By the time I was ready to taste them again, the distinct blue box with a Red Oval had disappeared from the shelves. I had more than a few grocery aisle conversations about the box missing from the shelves, and didn't get many answers until the internet informed me that Red Oval Farms had discontinued the cracker in 2022.
Add this cracker to the things absent from the world that I miss at least once a month. It's at the top, followed by the band REM, and the actor Philip Seymour Hoffman.
