Mouse Memo

To the Mouse or Mice Partying Under My Kitchen Sink:

I know you're there. You, and I suspect you have a friend with you, have not done a very good job of concealing your presence. First there was the crashing sound last night, and then tonight when I went to retrieve a trash bag there were all the droppings. Droppings everywhere, along with a partially chewed package of bird suet.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't fair of me to tempt you with the suet. Believe me, I didn't leave it there as some sort of trap. I realize now that storing it under the sink was a poor choice on my part. I should have had it closed up in some sort of plastic container far away from your twitchy little pink nose. But c'mon, where's your discipline? Do you really think every little scrap you zero in on is yours for the taking? And another thing, do you even know how dangerous some of the items stored under the sink can be? Detergents, cleaning sprays, ant spray; all of these things can be pretty toxic. You really should be more careful.

I know it's cold outside and I'm sure that 30 inches of snow a few weeks back didn't help much, but spring is coming. So why don't you just find some other place to party? This time, just this time, I'm going to cut you a break. I'm going to clean up the droppings and get rid of the suet and no, I won't put out the traps. However, the next time I see even ONE little drop of evidence the traps are coming out and the cat will be put on alert.

You have been warned.

Sincerely,
The homeowner

P.S. I hear the neighbor keeps cookies in her lower cabinets and also that she's allergic to cats.